In the works...Pt 3

So tired of how things have been.  I've let things get away from me and out of control.  But lately - for the first time in a year - I'm able to see ahead again.  That for me, is wonderful.

I've always been the person that looks ahead.  I know what I want.  I just need to figure out how to get it - and actually do it.  Usually takes a lot of work and sweat - and a whole lotta effort - but I do it.  Or rather did it. 

Almost a year ago (will be a year on Friday) I hurt my back at work.  I'm a I was a visiting nurse, and I hurt myself at a client's house.  I've come to the reality that I can't go back to what I was doing, unless work will accommodate my limitations.  I'm sure that they will to a degree, but I wont be happy with that, and honestly, wont be fair to my co-workers.  At least that's my opinion. 

With effort (a ton of effort and patience and a lot of help from Bola), and A LOT of rehab - I've been able to do a little bit of gardening again.  And up until that small slice of Heaven - I'd been wanting to just run and hide.  Actually thought about selling my house, and just taking off to Oro. (It's still a thought, tho... Always wanted to live there - get back to the "country" so-to-speak.  But that's not happnin' currently and I'm good with that. For now.)  Having some gardening done, and making a little improvement on my teeny house - has allowed me some freedom, and a lifting of the fog.  It's helped me to appreciate what I have, and what I've worked hard for up until now.

I'm looking to the future - not just personally but professionally.  It's exciting for me, as I've been incapable of that for almost a year.  But Goddamn it - it sure as Hell is scary!! My future isn't clear at this point - and my "forecast" is cloudy, not at all clear like it used to be.  But it's a start, right??

Here's to the future... Here's to some new beginnings... And monetary donations are welcome to support my new impending hobby, drinking... As I'm sure I'm gonna take that up to deal with the stress of said new beginnings.  People like me, don't do well with change...sometimes...kinda sorta.  Have I mentioned I'm OCD.  And likely, mentally ill??