Ok. I can't take it any more. I have to purge, yet again, before I explode!!
Here goes. I'm dating this wonderful man. He's the kind of man that almost every woman dreams of having in their life. He's loving, kind, gentle, sweet and affectionate. He's a hard worker, good provider for his daughter (and at one point, his ex). He is active in his daughter's life - has 50-50 custody with his ex and does whatever he can for his daughter AND wouldn't hesitate to have her with him full time. This man even combs her massive fro of hair and does his daughter's braids!! He's not afraid to do things with her, that other men would balk at. He's a better male role model to my son than his own father is. He's not controlling, manipulative; he doesn't lie to me, does not hit me - respects me, supports me emotionally and is always there to talk and put up with my neurotic behaviour. For those who know me really well, know that isn't an easy thing to do! He is always doing nice things for me; going out of his way to prove himself a worthy part of my life (which is totally unnecessary, given that I'm more than easy to please, and considering what I was married to - well, let's just say - this man has nothing to prove!!).
This ex of his has this miserable attitude that makes me want to punch her in the face. She's belligerent, disrespectful of him, undermines him with their daughter and terribly demanding for all the wrong things. She can't even ask nicely for something - total lack of manners, and couth. She also has the audacity to act as though she's been done wrong, when she's the one who's in the wrong. She lied, disrespected him, passed all responsibility on to him, was lazy - didn't appreciate a damn thing he did for her. And on top of that, cleaned out all of their daughter's things leaving him to start over from scratch, and left with their daughter - telling him that she wanted to have a 60/40 split (her having 60% would allow her FULL child support), accusing him of being controlling, manipulative and abusive - and that there was nothing he could do. She's irresponsible with her money and her responsibilities. She's the 'ultimate queen' who is lazy and childish.
This 'woman' has threatened him in every way possible, accused him of things that I refuse to believe he is capable of, and is doing everything in her power to destroy this good man; not caring that in doing so she is ultimately hurting their daughter far more than anyone else.
Women like this PISS ME OFF!! I don't understand where these women get off!?!? I was in an abusive relationship, he lied, he cheated, he was an addict. I was disrespected and I put up with a lot of crap. BUT... the difference is - I made sure my son was cared for (as does my ex, I will give him that credit - he's never missed a child support payment EVER), got my shit together, made sure that we got out of that situation and have never looked back. I have NEVER claimed to be a victim of anything. Been through a plethora of emotions and feelings since my marriage ended. I went to an addiction counsellor, went to addiction support groups for spouses, and went to a therapist as well cause of all that went on in my marriage. But I have never acted a victim, when in fact I could pull out all the stops and milk it for all it's worth.
Instead, I moved on, sought help to get my self back on track emotionally; bought my house (on my own), and started our new lives over again for the better. My ex and I are not friends. Nor do I think we ever will be. I know he doesn't like me much, and quite frankly I'm not a huge fan of him either. I haven't ever threatened my ex with anything - never kept him from our son. In fact, there have been times where I have cancelled things so that G could see his dad. I'm not looking for a medal - just saying that I love my son more than anything else in this entire world, and would do anything that would make him happy. I will never keep him from his dad, no matter what. As for my ex, I do truly hope he has learned from our failed marriage, and I do honestly wish him all the best in the future. I also hope that he will be the father to our son that G deserves.
I realize that in my defending this man, you might ask - "What makes you think he isn't capable of the things he's been accused of? What makes you any better than this ex who is saying these horrible things?". Well, for starters, it's the truth. I have people who can vouch for things that went on in my marriage, including confessions from people involved in certain things. I'm also a firm believer, that when you get out of an abusive relationship - you can go one of two ways. You can be the woman who has actually learned from this awful experience and in doing so, learn your value and self worth. By doing this - you pretty much can rest assured, you're not going to fall into that trap ever again. Then there's the woman who keeps running back to the same type of men over and over and over - never learning her lesson, much less her value and self worth. I am the first of these two women. I know that I am worthy and I know I have value! I have spent A LOT of time with this man, and I believe that he isn't the 'monster' she claims him to be. I know he isn't perfect, in fact, he's far from it. I know, and he will agree, he played a part in the poor relationship that he had with this woman. He is not without fault. However, he is human. He is a good man. I personally believe that his biggest fault at that time was that he was TOO good to her, and that he allowed a lot of bad behaviour to happen, and therefore gave her certain expectations of how things 'should' be.
So, again I ask - what is it with these "queens"?? I am so sick and bloody tired of these spoiled rotten little bitches causing so much grief and heartache to all those around them, especially their children. Why is it that they are so bloody intent on destroying others??? Trust me, I realize that there are men out there, that are just as bad as women. I don't believe that one sex is better than the other - quite frankly, people in general suck. I just don't get it, and honestly, likely never will. I know that there are a lot of 'words' in this rant, but I can assure you, I can't fully express how mad women like this make me, and I really can't get over how angry I am. Words just can't express... believe it or not.
See I knew there was a reason I liked you! You're absolutely right in your assessment of both B and his ex. I never liked her, and always wished B would smarten up and give his daughter the happy home she (and he) deserve instead of flogging the dead horse of that relationship. He is a good man- honest to a fault, kind, considerate, respectful, funy and intelligent. I am very proud to have had him for a friend for more than a decade :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy that he's met a woman who can truly be his partner and not just some soul-sucking leech...