Pain in the Ass #12 - well, actually L2-4 and the sacroiliac joint/tailbone...

"If I could save time in a bottle...If I could make days last forever, if words could make wishes come true. I'd save everyday like a treasure and then, again,  I'd spend them with you..."

I don't know what's wrong with me as of late (other than the obvious).  I've been very emotional and missing key people in my life.  Father's Day is quickly approaching and I find myself missing my Grampa a lot.  More than usual.  It's very apparent to me that certain people will always hold a special place in our lives, and he certainly is no exception.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of him - some might call that obsessive - but quite frankly, I don't care what those people think in the first place.  He's just THAT important to me, and that will never change.

I've also found myself looking at my (ever) growing son.  I miss the little version of him.  I have so many regrets from when he was little.  His dad and I ended our marriage about 4.5 years ago and I've spent a lot of that time trying to make a life for Gabriel and I.  I feel gypped honestly.  I'm not entirely sure if that's a reasonable feeling/thought or if I'm just being over sensitive.  But to be honest, I do resent that I spent as much time as I did working, stressed and frustrated - and in doing so, I feel like he too, was robbed of something.  I'm sure most working parents feel this way, as do a lot of single parents.  It just seems that he grew up right in front of me, and I struggle to remember those chubby little hands and fingers, that little baby belly that stuck out - his cute little feet and that sweet little voice.  He's bigger now - arms and legs are longer, and less chubby.  The tummy that was round and soft, is now flat and muscle.  The voice is still 'sweet' but it too is changing, and will continue to change as he grows up - as will the rest of his body.  *sigh*

Gabriel, 2005

Maybe you're thinking that I'm putting too much thought into it, maybe I am.  But mostly, I'm assuming this is a normal way to feel.  My question is, what do I do about it??  Sometimes I feel like I need to make up for that time lost and other times, I just wonder if this may be God's way of smacking me upside the head to tell me that I need to appreciate the time now.  He is growing up so fast; becoming quite the guy.  It wont be long until he's starting high school and then after that it will be college.  I realize I can't shellac him - can't keep him little forever.  Lord knows I have a lot of pictures of him as he's grown up.  I just can't shake the feeling that I need to hold on before it all changes.

I guess for now, (until I learn how to turn back the hands of time or make days last forever) I'll learn to cherish what I do have with my wonderful guy, and take it one day at a time...I've learned that there just doesn't seem to be enough time to do what we want, and in regards to my son - there's never (going to be) enough time. Period. I don't want any more regrets.  I don't want to waste my time (or his) wishing for the ability to save time in a bottle...

Pain in the Ass #11 - well, actually L2-4 and the sacroiliac joint/tailbone...

I've noticed that there is this epidemic spreading throughout Barrie (I'm sure it's everywhere, really).  It's devastating and quite frankly a tough one to beat.  It's called Rudeness.  The most common symptoms include, ignoring/staring through people as though they don't exist or not saying a simple ' thank you '. It also causes the inability to hold doors open and somehow makes people push ahead, by either butting in or actually physically shoving someone out of the way.

I'm baffled, honestly.  I was raised to use my manners and to respect my elders.  To this very day I still have great respect for my elders, unless of course they've proved unworthy of it - and even still, I wont go out of my way to be disrespectful.  I just avoid those people if I can, OR just keep my mouth shut.  Of course, that depends on the situation (for example, the old guy who parked in the "Expectant mother" parking spot when I was VERY pregnant with my son.  I unleashed some nasty pregnant woman power that day - and  needless to say, he moved his car... and I'd be surprised if he ever pulls a stunt like that again).

Mr. Rude (from the Mr. Men books).

I've made sure that my son uses his manners.  And I know for a fact, anyone who has met my son, is impressed with his manners, and his respect for his elders.  In fact, when my son was visiting my sister in Canton last year, he wanted to get my sister's attention for something, and he said quite politely "Excuse me, Aunt Heather...".  Her sister-in-law apparently thought that was the cutest and most incredible thing ever - as though she'd never seen an interaction like that before.  That made me so proud of my runt...so incredibly proud, cause that's how I'm raising him - to be a polite little boy, who respects people.

As I said, I'm baffled.  People are just so.incredibly.rude.  I can't get over it.  Today for instance, I had to go to the bank.  As I was hobbling out, I went to push the door open and this jerk grabs the handle, yanks it, and pushes past me.  Of course, me not having a filter from brain-to-mouth currently, I never hesitated to say 'Thank you... dumb ass'.  He just glared at me and proceeded on his way.  I'm one of those people who will let others in ahead of me, whether it be in a store, or while driving - and if someone lets me in, I make sure they know that I'm grateful for that gesture... even when in the car I wave and say 'thank you'.  Gabriel thinks that's hilarious - as he puts it "Mom, why do you do that?? You know they can't hear you, right???"  I always explain to him, and remind him of the "do unto other's" philosophy.  You can't expect anyone to be nice to you if you're not nice to them.  I also realize there are people out there that are just plain mean and nasty.  But, in general - I believe in that philosophy. 

However... have you ever noticed that some of the rudest people get all pissy when someone isn't nice to them? I've had the misfortune of working with the public pretty much all of my working life.  It's the meanest, nastiest people that demand the greatest effort as though they've somehow earned it, but wont hesitate to turn around and treat others like the crud you find on the bottom of a shoe. 

Is it really that hard to be nice? Does it really take that much effort to be polite and say "thank you" ?!?!  People are so self absorbed that they don't care what happens around them.  Granted, I have my bad days - we all do.  But my day isn't so bad, that if someone does something nice for me, that I can't muster a few words of gratitude.  Usually, when someone does something for me when I'm having a bad day - it brightens my day (likely out of shock).  I think we all need to make more of an effort to be nice to others, we also need to make a bigger effort to encourage that behaviour in our kids. There are some nasty kids out there that will mouth off at adults, who also have the attitude that they can do what ever in the Hell they want, and what are you going to do about it?? (some of which live on my street and honestly, I wouldn't hesitate to run a particular red-haired-little-shit over with my car if given the opportunity - don't think I've missed the irony of that statement.  I'm talking about treating others with respect, and setting an example for our kids with our own behaviour - but you really have to meet this kid.  Like, really... *take a deep breath, Ruth... there you go... it's ok...deep breath*).

Seriously, folks - you think elder abuse is bad now?? Wait till our kids are out there in a world that has turned away from manners and respect - think about it for a while, ponder it.  Then get your butts out there and teach your kids to treat others (with respect and consideration) as they want to be treated, and to use their manners.  Maybe the older folk will pick up on this and try it out - who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks, eh?

OH... one more thing... Please and thank you.  Can't be forgetting my manners now, can I? ;^)

Pain in the Ass #10 - well, actually L2-4 and the sacroiliac joint/tailbone...

Hi.  My name is Ruth and I'm an obnoxious-inappropriate-mouthy-holic.  Well, maybe not entirely, but as I think I've mentioned before - the filter from my brain to my mouth has disappeared (and in case anyone finds it, please return it to me - there isn't a reward or anything - but I'd really appreciate it all the same.. as will the innocent bystanders).

An example from 'Rants from Mommyland'

I find that certain things make me laugh.  Most times (ok, I'll be honest, ALL times) I want to share these things with other people.  However, it's been pointed out to me that not everyone shares the same warped sense of humor.  Honestly, that makes me sad...kinda sorta.


What brought this on was a new word I discovered.  I've been following a couple of  blogs; Pregnant Chicken and Rants from Mommyland.  These ladies crack me up!! They say it like it is, with humour.  It's funny - some days I'll be reading it, and I swear they've tapped into my brain/mind (of what there is...).  So, this new word I learned.  "WHUCK".  How freakin' awesome is that?? It's the polite amalgamation of WTF.  I love learning. Don't you?  I wanted so badly to post it (among other funny tidbits) but hesitated as I was worried that certain "friends" would have an issue with it, and post nasty comments.

I have always been the way I am (I know, how shocking!!).  My sense of humour doesn't always follow that of others - and I almost always find pretty much everything funny (I get tears in my eyes every. single. time. I watch Dumb and Dumber - and the scene where Harry is in the bathroom after Lloyd fed him laxatives).  My friends don't always get my humour, but almost all of them agree, at least I'm easy to amuse and they don't feel so bad when they put me in a corner...I'll just keep me company.  That is something I've had to do a lot in the last 9 months.  I find it super annoying how some people seem to find the need to criticize me and how I cope with things. I've been told I'm too self-deprecating; not positive enough; too sarcastic, etc.  My question is... how is my making fun of me and my situation a bad thing?  I'm not on meds for the pain; I hurt all the time.  Would they rather I turn to alcohol to cope??  I rather enjoy the stupid things that make me laugh.. at least I'm laughing people!!  And please, stop with the negative comments in my direction.  Not needed. Granted, not everyone finds the same stuff funny as I do, and yes, I can be too sarcastic, and yes, sometimes my humour is dark - but if you don't like it - go away and leave me alone.  I'm content, which currently, is a good thing considering my situation.

Another source of amusement for me is my son.  He's going to be nine this August.  Shocks the crap outta me, I have to be honest.  I simply can't believe it!!  I still remember the day I had him.  It's not likely something I'll be quick to forget.  It's been so awesome watching this runt grow up.  He's got an amazing personality, he's funny, charming - and a downright dork! (Yeah.. he takes after his mom.)  These aren't even my own observations - these are comments from other people that have met him.  But seriously, he's a riot.  He does accents (rather well - esp. the southern accent).  We rough house, call each other names; we can goof around and make each other laugh ( NO, I'm not his friend.  I'll likely  not be his friend till he's much older.  I'm still his mom - that will never change. I just try to balance the strict mom with the I-can-beat-you-down-and-tickle-the-crap-outta-you mom, all the while giving him an atomic wedgie and a side of wet-willy).  I've been told by several of his teachers he's going to be the next Jim Carrey.  Honestly, if he makes that kind of money - I'm cool with that.  As much as he amuses me, he drives me utterly insane.  He is the proven cause of the white/silver hair that insists on growing atop me head.  My least favorite expression is "I don't know".  I swear, I wanna smack him upside the head every time it leaks out of his face. (Man, I sound violent...I call it passion).  I'm passionate about my kid. Period. 

Then factor in my critters.  They too, have personalities.  We currently have a mini dachshund (cat in a dog suit), named Roxie; a cat - Frankie (super affectionate, annoying, fur covered fart machine) and my turtle, Ozzy (he's being rude lately, wont come out to play).  Roxie has her spaz moments, where she tears through the house... all you see is a psycho wiener running with ears flying behind her and hear the light thuds as she's doing the circuit; Frankie has his spaz attacks too.  The fights are even better.  They both give as good as they get.  The best part is when the cat crawls into Roxie's bed - she grabs him by the neck, head or paw (whatever she has access to) and yanks him out. Who needs TV??  Seriously.

I've also been following a new-to-me blog, Single Dad Laughing.  It's a blog written by a cute guy in Utah who is, as his name describes - a single dad.  He's vulnerable just like the rest of us and he's a dad who simply loves his kid.  He goes through all the same stuff as single moms do - which in itself is reassuring; he often feels the same as I do, too.  It's really cool to read the words of this man who gets it.  Too often we hear of these dead beat dads who don't deserve to breathe - and then I come across this guy who is anything but.  In my short 33 years on this planet, I've come across only a handful of great guys who are awesome and passionate about their kid(s).  I've never kept it a secret that not all men suck and this guy is another one to add to the pile.  I'm grateful to have found yet another blog that gets it, and that I can relate to.  Even nicer that it's written by a guy.  I think it happens too often that men don't get enough credit.  So, here's to you SDL - my hat's off to you.  

To my son, critters and all the blogs I've been reading in order to keep my sanity, thank you for giving me something else to do, and yet another way to amuse/entertain myself the last 9 months while stuck at home.  AND to all the people who are stuck with me, thanks for letting me be me - even though I annoy you and make you shake your collective heads at times.

Pain in the Ass #9 - well, actually L2-4 and the sacroiliac joint/tailbone...

Well, it's getting to be that time again.  Summer.  For me, summer used to be the same as any other time, except my son would go to day care while I went to work as I did every other day.  Last year Gabriel had the opportunity to spend time with my Aunt and Uncle in Pittsburgh, PA and my sister and her family in Canton, NY.  He had a blast.  This year, he's going to be really busy between, another trip to Canton, soccer camp, spending time with our babysitter (of almost 7 years now) and his best bud, Bola. 

However, after last year, I'm less eager to cross the border.  I had a run in with customs, and needless to say - I just don't wanna deal with those morons. Seeing as Gabriel wants to see his cousins in NY, I'm going to have to do it all over again.  *sigh*  For those of you who didn't hear about my adventure, I'll relive it - just for the Hell of it.  Maybe, whoever reads this (ha ha ha) will share some of their horror stories at the border, etc.

Here goes... My adventure at the border was something I'd been hoping for (please note sarcasm).  I was coming back from Buffalo as my aunt had Gabriel with them in Pittsburgh about a week, and she was nice enough to shave 3-4 hours off of my drive by meeting me in Buffalo.  When I was crossing back over into Canada, they asked me where I lived - so I told them. They then asked me where I was coming from, again, I answered them. They inquired as to why I was coming from Buffalo - so I told them I was meeting my aunt. They asked me why I was meeting her.  I replied with "I was picking up my son". They asked me why he was there and for how long, told them that too. Chick at the border says "I need you to pull over to one of the parking spots, and one of our agents will be with you shortly." So, I do what I'm told. Dude meets me, and tells me I have to go into the customs building. I go in. He then takes my passport and tells me I have to return to my vehicle, and the agents out there will assist me. I ask him what the problem is, and he tells me again to go out side. So, I go (and remember, I have my very tired, and semi grouchy kid with me through out this BS).

Dude and chick are waiting for me, and I take them to my car. They tell me to unlock it and to stand by the sidewalk. They searched the car; took the rockets that Gabriel had made with my uncle apart, put them back together. Grilled me some more, closed the doors after the search and then told me to go back in the building. Again, do what I'm told, but not before I asked them what the problem was. They of course didn't answer.  I went back in there where I'm told I have to go back to the US side, go thru customs and then ret'n back to Canada.  I asked for my passport back and he declines, instead gives me a form and then says this will suffice in lieu of my passport. Again I ask what's up... he tells me to just do what I'm told (as you know me, this is hard to do without a fight) but I did it. Didn't want to be arrested or something.

So, back I go around to the US customs, hand him the form and G's passport.  Dude looks at me like I'm stupid. Asks me why I don't have a passport, told him the story. He goes over to the dude in the shed beside him, comes back to me, hands me another form and makes a snide remark about Canada, and tells me to do what the other (original) dude says and go back to the Canadian side...so...I do that.  They look at me like I'm crazy on our side, and I just tell the same story.  He then tells me that I must have said or done something to make them worry.  I told him exactly what they asked me and what I said.  This dude is puzzled and says that he didn't understand, but that it was good I just went along with it. Yay me! So, I go back to the building to get my passport.  I shared my frustration (HUGE waste of time) and told the guy that I don't get what's going on or why this happened, but it would be nice to know what was wrong.  He just says to me, that it's up to them to decide what happens and if I don't like it, then I should just stay in my country, and leave it at that. I tell him that my country, at this point, is moronic, especially when it was Canadian customs that were running around with their heads up their collective butts, treating a 'fellow' Canadian citizen like this and wont even answer a simple question. I refrained from saying anything more, even though there was so much I wanted to say... as I didn't want to be arrested, and have my child put God know's where.

Moral of the story...bend over and just take it.  Hurts less when you're more relaxed, apparently.  God Bless Canada, Eh?

P.S. I'm now UBER excited to go back to the States... Road trip, anyone??